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When all else fails, read the instructions.

"The bottle!", gasps Fred as he wallows on the floor. "Maybe there's something there about what to do!"

Right, you think. In case of growing to enormous size, being bitten by a werewolf, and causing him to grow to enormous size, call 1-800-YEH-SURE. Still, you don't have any better ideas, so you waddle over and pick up the bottle. Unfortunately, your fleshy paw completely smothers the bottle, blocking the label from view. And a quick experiment shows that you can't get your fingers close enough together to grasp it by the top.

"Oh, just drop it down here", snarls Fred. "I'll read it!"

In the end, you do just that, and rest your aching knees by leaning against the headboard of your bed. Fred slowly drags himself over to the bottle, and rolls it around with his paws and nose until he can read the writing on the back.

"Okay", he pants, worn out from his exertions. "There's three numbers here. First one says, 'In case of unexpected side effects'."

"I'd say this counts", you grumble. "What's the next one?"

"In case of overdose.", replies your four-legged fellow fatty. "You did take the whole botle, right?"

You nod, feeling your cheeks and chins ripple with the movement. "What's the last one, though?"

"Beats me", the wolf replies. "Doesn't say. Could be the label printer, for all I know."

You debate within yourself ... which number? Or should you do something else, rather than sit around waiting for someone to come on the line? Finally, hoisting yourself erect to the accompaniment of creaking and popping joints, you ...


Written by Wanderer

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