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Welcome To My Parlour

The candlelit interior is much cooler than outside, and Fred gratefully flops down onto a cushion, his belly settling over it. Without preamble, Albert snaps "Right, you've proved your point. Now, take your Hoodoo off Fred, and we'll be done with this."

"First he done be apologizing to Carla for his bad manners", she snaps, the stormclouds building in her eyes.

Albert sighs, "Look, it's pretty obvious that he's sorry about what he did. We've had a hard time getting here and finding you, so stop dragging this out before we get angry." His stance shifts a little, bringing his massive muscles into definition. You grin, confident that she wouldn't try anything against the two of you.

Carla is singularly unimpressed. Her eyes narrow, and she mutters "So, you be threatening Carla wi' d'em muscles, I see." Abruptly, her mind suddemly seems to change tack. She claps her hands to her forhead. "Oh, where be Carla's manners. There she be, getting good food ready for her special guests, an' then she gone be forgettin' to be giving them it!"

Albert was right about her being unpredictable. She navigates the teetering heaps of stuff filling the tent and produces three bowls of some type of stew. She gives them to you, smiling. Albert merely puts his down on the floor.

This time, lightning flashes in her eyes. "You be thinking Carla be so low as to be poisoning her guests? For shame!" She stalks over and has a spoonfull from each bowl. "There. Now she be dead, not you!" Slightly ashamed of yourself, you try her hospitality. It's really delicious! Whatever else, Carla's one good cook.

Albert blushes, and changes the subject. "Alright, what do you want with my teeth?" Carla smiles. "I be needing them in a very special potion..." With a start, you realise that you're licking the inside of the bowl clean. The stew really was very good. Oddly, you can't quite remember the taste, and you find yourself casting around for an excuse for seconds. Albert has also finished his bowl. For once, though, Fred isn't eating.

Carla, noticing your glances, breaks off with a grin. "You be wanting more? Please, eat up. Carla done be making plenty!" She sweeps a curtain aside, revealing a large stewpot. You stride over and refill your bowl. The spoon is pitifully small for your mouth, so you dispense with it. Carla is still talking. "The teeth be the vital ingredient. Must be from de largest..."

You finish another bowlful. And another. Soon, such small helpings just aren't fulfilling enough. Abandoning the bowl, you kneel down and put your mouth into the cauldron, taking long, satisfying gulps. To your suprise, Albert is doing likewise opposite you, taking some of YOUR meal! You eat faster to stop Albert hogging it all. Everything is blanked from your mind but the heavenly taste...

A loud slurping informs your reluctant mouth that the pot is empty, and you sink back with your eyes shut, a warm, full, fuzzy feeling spreading throughout your entire body. God, that was good. A gasp from Fred brings your mind back from Nirvana, and you open your eyes.


Written by Lupine (edited by wanderer)

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