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The Internet: Making Lives Better in Ways That Are Unclear

Almost immediately, the screen goes black, with tiny white letters reading "THE LATEST INFORMATION." You smile and hope against all odds that medical information will follow. Instead, though, you are nearly blasted out of your seat by the din that erupts from your computer. It continues, and a whiny man screams that his appendix has ruptured. It could be medical, but somehow, you doubt it.

You disable the speakers on your computer and look back at the screen. A discography for the band Lycaon's Children meets your eyes, along with photographs of the band members spraying one another with fake blood and eating what appear to be Fruit Roll-Ups. You turn off your computer.


Written by Joey Liverwurst (edited by phaedrus)

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