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Drawing the line

The maid quickly loses interest in you and returns to the crowd. Koko coughs. "Yum-Yum," he says, to the maid who kissed him, "we appear to have a problem." "What?" "Well, I need to behead somebody." Yum-Yum looks perturbed. She says, "Behead somebody? I thought your post was ceremonial." "It isn't," replies Koko, "and I can't find a local citizen who is willing to volunteer." Yum-Yum sighs, and leaves, along with everybody but you and Koko. Koko turns to you and says, "Are you sure you really need your head?" You reply with a strong affirmative, and Koko looks downcast.

A young man walks up to the nearby pagoda and begins tying a rope to a ceiling rafter. He makes a noose and loops it over his neck. "Who are you," says Koko, "and what are you doing?" "I am Nanki-Poo, a wandering minstrel, and I am hanging myself," says the young man sadly. "No reason to do that," says Koko. "Actually," replies Nanki-Poo, "you are responsible. You are going to marry the woman I love."

Koko ponders this turn of events, and steps forward. "Now, you musn't do that," he says. "Stop! If you advance further I will perform the Happy Despatch at once with this dagger!" Nanki-Poo removes a dagger from the sash of his kimono. "My good sir! Don't you realize that suicide is a crime that is punishible by... by..." Koko suddenly turns to you. "A volunteer!" He turns back to Nanki-Poo. "No need to spoil yourself like this. Volunteer to be publicly beheaded, and you'll live like royalty for a month! Then, there will be a big ceremony, and off goes your head."

Nanki-Poo considers this. "Well, it's a good idea, but I'll only do it under one condition. I'll marry Yum-Yum."

Koko looks shocked. "Yum-Yum! I draw the line there!" Nanki-Poo resumes setting up the rope, and says, "If you can draw the line, sir, so can I."


Written by The Lord High Executioner

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