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Hardly the Welcome Wagon

From over the horizon, four men in business suits approach you. Judging from their collective appearance, you quickly realise that them to be religious fundamentalists. They are brandishing instruments of torture.

"It goes against all that is decent," murmurs the youngest one.

"A disgrace to both humanity and The Creator," agrees another.

The eldest one says nothing until you are surrounded on all sides. "No," he tells the others, "we must respect its basic form. It may seem like a monster to us, but that is not sinful or wicked."

You breathe a whinny of relief at the sound of his words. He has more to say, though, and you grow terribly uncomfortable.

"The sin and wickedness lie in the fact that it chose this form among others, giving preference to thrills of a carnal nature, and a perverse one at that. My brothers, you are looking upon a fetishist! And a shoeless one, no less!"

Having said this, he begins to beat you with his instrument, which appears from your vantage point to be a bamboo pole. His comrades join him in attacking you, and soon, everyone in the neighbourhood has come outside to join in what has become a public execution.

As the world around you fades to black, the last thing that you see is a pair of children, apparently brother and sister. They smile at you, and the little girl, her golden pigtails gleaming in the sun, grins and says, "This ought to send him where he belongs."

The little boy gazes deep into your teary eyes and cheers, "Yeah, forever!"


Written by Joey Liverwurst (edited by phaedrus)

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