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Feeling Horny

... a rhinoceros! Your face pushes forward into a heavy snout, splitting your vision. At the same time, your eyes slide to the sides of your head, your ears stretch into fleshy funnels, and a pair of horns erupts from your newly-formed muzzle.

A shudder runs through your limbs, forcing your attention to your hands. Your index and middle fingers have fused into a single digit, as have your ring finger and pinky. A similar metamorphosis is occurring in your feet. And your skin has taken on a dirty gray color.

For a moment you fear that you will grow too large for the bathroom to contain you, but then the transformation ends. You haven't become a true rhino. Instead, you are some sort of human-rhino hybrid.

The oddest part of this whole occurrence is the unshakeable feeling that you've seen it all before. But where? Then it hits you. You lumber to the bedroom, to the books on the nightstand. There it is, right on top, its cover seeming to mock you.

Rhinoceros. A play by Eugene Ionesco.


Written by Funny Animal (edited by phaedrus)

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Illustration by Funny Animal