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Cartoon anatomy 101 ...

"You seem to have forgotten", Lengths continues as your jaw slowly begins to return to your face, "that cartoon characters are never ... and I mean never ... anatomically correct. Well, aside from Fritz the cat, but he was a special case ... "

"But ... but ... ", Fred stammers, still trying to comprehend the situation.

"After all", Lengths goes on, "I'm not selling this show on cable, am I?"

You are silent, your eyes slowly returning to normal size as you begin to terms with your predicament. "But ... how do we ... "

"Unimportant", replies Lengths. "How many cartoons have bathroom scenes, aside from a coy shot in a bubble bath?"

"You frickfrack!", Fred bellows up at the ceiling. "Give me back my ..." Suddenly, he begins to choke. You pound him on the back until he slowly begins breathing normally again.

"Ah-ah-ah", gloats Lengths. "Some things don't have a safe alternate. So be careful not to say them. Otherwise ... well, you get the idea."

"Easy for you", you snarl up at him, "sitting up there in your lab! Come down here and fight us on fair terms!"

"I'm not stupid", he sneers. "If you really want to face me, though, come to the abandoned warehouse on Main Street. Of course, if you don't have the ... oh, dear, that would be corny, wouldn't it?" With a snide laugh, his voice fades away.

"Well", Fred coughs, "looks like we don't have much choice."

You think about it ... and finally ...


Written by Wanderer

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