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Overlooking the Obvious

The vampiress sighs, much too loudly. "I had hoped that you would figure out a few things for yourself, but I always overestimate Americans. James was the same way, at first."

Offended by her remarks, you growl and allow a muzzle to extend from your face. To your surprise, this pleases the vampiress.

"It is about time!" she exclaims. "Have you noticed that you never change for the joy of it? Lycanthropy is a gift, but you treat it more like a curse. 'Oh, more tourists. I had better stop what I am doing and eat them.' For crying out loud, you are a werewolf! Run around some time! Frolic! The change alone burns more calories than a day at the gymnasium. Combine that with nightly romps in the countryside, and those extra pounds will disappear immediately!"

Feeling more sheepish than wolfish, you look down and smile. Your mistress has a valid point, and you would be foolish to deny it. She has more to say, though.

"Your hunting technique also is terrible," she seethes. For days, you put off the change, and then, the minute that people appear, you grow hairy and hungry. Disgraceful! Approach them as a friend. Make them comfortable here. Then, when they have no exit, attack! It is ever so much more satisfying. Shall I call James and have you observe him?"

You like James, but you resent the idea of being an apprentice to anyone. Confident in your own devices, you thank the vampiress for her assistance and head to your room. As an afterthought, you turn around in the corridor and shift into complete lupine mode. Perhaps nightly romps in the countryside really are all that you need.


Written by Joey Liverwurst

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