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Negotiations

Vexed, you instinctively try to catch the leprechaun. To your amazement, you succeed! His magic notwithstanding, he struggles in your thin paw, which still is useful against an adversary only two inches tall. "Let me go!" he shouts. "I promise to give you three wishes from scratch."

You smile at the offer, but because you were not born yesterday, you take full advantage of your position. "We need to get something straight," you inform the leprechaun. "Your practical jokes are mildly amusing, but the time for joking is over. Fix me, immediately."

The leprechaun hesitates. "I like you the way that you are," he says, "and I am sure that you still have your mother's love."

You tighten your grip on the leprechaun ever so slightly. "I asked to be a werewolf," you explain, "and my clothes are not even the least bit tight. Human or lycanthropic, I can manage, but as of this moment, I am unrecognisable as either. Fix me, immediately."

The leprechaun sighs but does as he is told. What exactly are you, now?


Written by Joey Liverwurst

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