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Jerk Boss

You stumble around in panic, trying to think of something to do to save yourself. You consider jumping out the window, but you know you'd never fit, and any idea of hiding meets up with similar problems, and you may as well be and elephant to make the expression literal for all your size. The only thing you could possibly do is pretend you're not home... if you had remembered to lock the door "Hey are you here?" calls your boss, as the handle turns and the door creaks open. You freeze as your boss walks in, his red fur outlined by the light outside the room. The fox see's you immediately, and his eyes go wide, obviously surprised. "Wow..." he says having to do a double take, then a triple take as he looks you over, "You REALLY let yourself go," he states, "Have you just been eating since you got here!? I'm not paying you for room service." You shudder feeling embarrassed and insulted, "Well, you see..." you start, trying to explain, "And what's with the fur? If you were a werewolf you could have at least let me known. I knew you wanted to be a big bad wolf, but I didn't think you wanted to be one literally..."

***

Eventually, after a lot of venting on your bosses part, you finally get around to explaining what happened. You go over the events of your visit, your wishes and the subsequent curse, the search and the final betrayal that landed you in your current position as world's fattest werewolf. "Well, that will definitely make the headlines." He says, "Good work on that, I can give you an extension to get the story on paper." You frown a bit, surprised he hasn't said anything about your current state, "What about me? Look at me," you grab a double handful of your gut and hold it out, "I'm a freaking blimp!" you say, but your boss doesn't seem all that impressed, "Not all that big a deal, your basically going to be a celebrity when you get home, people eat up the whole 'fat guy struggling to lose weight' angle. You'll have personal trainers throwing themselves at you, people offering you deals on your story, and enough fame to make your wide load look like an anorexic." he says, unsympathetic.

"But..." you start, your head whirling from the harsh treatment, what he says is technically true, but it's not like you wanted this, and he could be a little empathetic, but he interrupts you, "Look, you’re a great guy and all, but your weight problem is hardly anything to get worked up about. Now, a pot of gold, and a leprechaun who can grant wishes, that is something I can dig my teeth into. Now, the way I see it, wishing for something yourself is going to back fire, but if we catch this guy, we can charge for OTHERS to have their wishes granted. Of course even if we can't get him, a pot of gold is still a plus out of the deal, all I need you to do is lead me to him, I'll even throw in a raise in the deal, I'm that generous." You are speechless. Not only does he not care about what happened, he wants you to go back there and try to catch the leprechaun and his pot of gold for him. Not to mention selling what would probably be the same type of wishes that turned you into a furry blob. "Of course," he adds, probably seeing the look of horror on your face, "I could just go myself and leave you here... I mean, it's not like you need the travel funds from the office account to buy your ticket home... or that the nearest ATM is a plane flight away... " He lets the threat hang, knowing that you couldn't afford a ticket with what cash you have, especially considering that you would need several seats to accommodate your girth, and he could as your boss take the money for travel and strand you here, leaving your chances of having anyone helping you slim to none...


Written by an anonymous author

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