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You have an AWESOME time. Mostly.

You settle in for your week of involuntary vulpinification.

Sarah's excitement to have you around doesn't wane; quite the opposite in fact. She clearly loves her 'precious little foxie'. And how could you not love her too? She's awesome! Just like you made her! And now she made you, so that makes you awesome!

You find that your new nose can navigate the TV remote just fine, so you can entertain yourself during the moments when Sarah is busy or goes out. To think she was so annoying... now she's so conscientious.

She insists that you sleep with her. No, not that kind of "sleep with her," silly. You just curl up in bed next to her, under the sheet (neither of you need the blankets anymore, of course). It's a wonderful way to spend the night.

And, of course, you have no idea that Sarah presses the "stop" button early the next morning, while you're still asleep, and spends a long time thinking about things.


Everything is so great now. She's so much better, and you're so much better (not to mention so much more adorable), and the world is before you. The only thing that could really go wrong would be if the two of you got in a fight. Like the fights you had before. With that remote around, a fight could be so bad. For everyone. Not just the two of you.

She knows she has to keep her promise to you, of course. Everyone should keep their promises. And the two of you especially.

But there's a lot of ways to keep that promise, aren't there?

And the best way to keep it is the way that makes things best for everybody, right?

And keeps everyone so happy, right?

She thinks about things, long and carefully. She lets time run again, makes sure that you're still sleeping comfortably, and makes some notes.

She navigates the menus and makes her choices meticulously. She double-checks and makes a few adjustments. You made her very smart. You should be proud!

She presses "apply".


Over the next few days, you enjoy yourself more and more. You just love being together with Sarah. You stop watching the TV. It's boring. Playing is much more fun. And when Sarah has to leave, there's so much stuff to explore around the house. Awesome sounds and smells everywhere. Did you know that there were mice in the laundry room? Now you do! And now there's two fewer than there used to be! Playtime and dinner -- double the fun!

You sort of lose track of time. But one morning, she tells you that the week is up. You feel kind of sad, but you know you'll still be together. And you remember feeling that being on two feet was dreadfully important, so you suppose it is. She fiddles with the remote...

You stand up, wobbling a bit. You're exactly as she promised -- a well-sculpted bipedal fox-man, basically the male mirror image of Sarah. The scents of the house shrink largely away, and all sorts of complicated thoughts rush back into your head. It's more than a bit overwhelming.

"You look good," Sarah says, with a genuine smile. "I know it takes a little time to readjust. I'll give you some space."

It only takes you about fifteen minutes to get more or less comfortable on two legs again. But the longer you have time to think about things, the more anxious you get. Should you check your email? What have you missed? Everybody's going to wonder where you went! How are you going to deal with people again? Nobody but Sarah will understand you! Everything is so complicated! How are you supposed to know what to do when there are so many things to do? Every time you start thinking about who to talk to first or what to catch up with first, all the things that go wrong flood your mind. This is awful! Just awful! Why do things have to be this way?

Then you draw in a breath, and suddenly look hopeful. Maybe they don't.

As if on cue, Sarah re-enters the room, holding a plate of tuna salad and a fork. "You're probably hungry," she says with that golden voice of hers, handing them to you. "Getting used to things again? Ready to talk about things? Go ahead and eat first; we've got plenty of time."

"Absolutely. Let's talk. About things." The words rush out of your mouth. "How are you feeling? Did you like, well, taking care of me?"

She leans forward and puts her hand gently on yours. "Oh, you know I did. It was the best week of my life. You'll always be my precious foxie, no matter who or what we are. And now we can try something else. I was thinking that --"

"Actually," you say. Interrupting her feels wrong, but you just can't wait. "It was the best week of my life too. Every bit of it. Would you please, please take care of me again? Change me back. Please?"

She seems taken aback. "Well, you know I'd love to, but... are you sure that's what you want?"

"More than anything. Forever. Please?"

"You're absolutely sure? You want to be a fox, always?"

"Absolutely sure. Always. Please!"

"Yes. Yes. I love you, my precious foxie. Always."

The remote clicks.

Falling to all fours feels glorious the second time around. Your whole body feels so much better. And when you draw in your first breath, filled with her scent, it pushes all the nervousness and all the worry and all the horrible heavy complications out of your mind.

You are a precious foxie again. Her awesome precious foxie.


There are a few things left to do, of course. Sarah takes you to the doctor. (Foxes have special doctors that humans can't use, because foxes are awesome.) The doctor looks you over, and gives you some shots (you're brave), and gives Sarah your Special Fox Papers. And he shoots a chip into you. Now you're an ELECTRONIC fox!

There are some more changes around the house. She gets rid of lots of your old boring stuff, and brings in some cool new furniture. Not that you need it, of course. But it's made of lots of different wood with some really interesting smells.

And she does some boring stuff with bank accounts and so on. Whatever.

She tells you that she has great plans for the two of you, and she knows you'll love them. You know you will to, because she's so smart and awesome! Just like you!

And before long, your adventures begin!


Written by Phaedrus

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