WIZ-TV Transformation Charades

Hi all.

I'm a long time lurker (since April 2 1996) and I've admired many of the stories and envied the skill of the writers. Well Phaedrus' story idea really struck a chord with me and a story popped into my head that just had to come out. I hope you like it.

My apologies to Eddie Glover if I've damaged his universe.

Randy

[Fade in. Cue Winkdale.]

"Hi, I'm your host Martin Winkdale. Welcome to a new season here at WIZ-TV and our new show: Transformation Charades, the show where you give clues by changing."

"Here's the rules. We have two teams. Just like in traditional charades, you are trying to give clues to your partners so they can guess your phrase. The wrinkle is that each team gets a magic amulet that allows them to transform, enhancing their ability to give clues. The magic amulet has some limitations that should make the game more fun. The first transformation is immediate. The second transform is gradual and takes ten seconds; the third takes 20 seconds, etc. The goal is to guess the phrase as fast as possible."

"Now on to the game. Let's meet our first contestants: Bill and Helen from Princeton, NJ. Hi, Bill, tell me about yourself."

[Bill]

"I'm a nuclear physicist teaching French Literature at Princeton".

[Winkdale]

"Welcome Helen. What's your story"?

[Helen]

"I'm the mother of two wonderful girls and a part time herb gardener."

[Winkdale]

"Now it's time to meet our next team: Andy and Sue from Boston. Andy tell me a little about you."

[Andy]

"I drive a cab in Boston and ran in the marathon last year."

[Winkdale]

"Tell me, what's faster -- driving the cab in rush hour or running the marathon? Sue, what's happening in your life?"

[Sue]

"I own a small art gallery in Boston"

[Winkdale]

"I understand there's an interesting story about how you two met"

[Sue]

"Well I had to get across town quickly and was trying to use one of those new instaport paintings to do it and inadvertently summoned Andy and his cab instead. Imagine my embarassment, but it all worked out in the end."

[Winkdale]

"Who hasn't been embarassed by those instaport paintings. It's a good thing they took them off the market. OK! Andy, you give the first clues to Sue. Are you ready?"

[Andy nods head, glances at phrase and picks up the amulet. Instantly he turns into a cow and starts jumping.]

[Sue]

"You're a cow, a jumping cow, a laughing cow ... "

[Andy starts slowly turning human, pulls down his pants and starts pointing at his behind.]

[Sue]

"You're mooning me. The cow jumped over the moon!"

[Winkdale]

"Right. You got it in twelve seconds. Good score!"

[Andy]

"Martin why do I look like some lady/cow hybrid? The amulet seems to have quit."

[Winkdale]

"The amulet only works when you're giving clues. When Sue guesses correctly you stop transforming. A cow is a female animal and when you were trying to moon Sue you were concentrating so much on that part of your body that the rest just became human, but not male. I have to say that the cow's udder on your chest is quite striking. I've never seen anything quite like it -- even here at WIZ-TV! Udderly fascinating"

"Helen, now it's your turn to give clues to Bill."

[Helen looks at her phrase and picks up her amulet. She pauses for a second and transforms into a devil with red and black stripes. She points at the stripes, flashes a peace sign and smiles.]

[Bill, looking somewhat perplexed]

"You're a striped devil, demon. Victory? Peace?" [Helen puts finger to nose.] Peace! demon, stripe." [Stripes slowly began to waver]. "What now? Wiggling stripes -- striations, demon striations. Peace demonstration!"

[Winkdale]

"Correct! 18 seconds. A good time for a difficult phrase."

"At the end of the first round Bill and Helen trail Andy and Sue by 6 seconds. It's your turn now Sue."

[Sue picks up the amulet and begins. She transforms immediately into Andy, points at her tongue and slowly begins to transform into a cat.]

[Andy]

"You're a man, you're me? Why me. My tongue? You're growing fur. Your tongue has fur? You're hungover? You're becoming a cat!? But you're still pointing at your tongue. Cat's got my tongue? Cat's got your tongue!"

[Winkdale]

"Correct, but that took you 21 seconds Andy. Your team has a combined time of 33 seconds now."

"Bill you're up now and you have to beat 15 seconds to best Andy and Sue. Good luck!"

[Bill looks at his phrase, frowns briefly, picks up the amulet and immediately becomes a horse and starts running around in circles.]

[Helen]

"You're a horse. You're racing. A horse race! No? The Kentucky Derby? A rodeo? Bill -- we don't have time for this. Quit horsing around and give me another clue."

[Winkdale]

"Correct! Horsing around is the phrase. But too bad it took you 18 seconds, giving you a total of 36 seconds. Thanks for playing with us. Johnny, tell Bill and Helen about their lovely parting gifts."

[Johnny]

"Bill and Helen get a lovely self-heating punch bowl that doubles as a witch's cauldron and the home edition of our game."

[Winkdale]

"Thanks for playing Helen and Bill. When we return from the commercial break, Andy and Sue will play the bonus round for exciting prizes! Now this.]

[Fade to commercial]

[Bill]

"That punch bowl doesn't seem worth much, but the home edition seems pretty cool; we get a transformation amulet. That could be really fun."

[Winkdale]

"The home game doesn't have an amulet. You play by drawing the figures on a pad."

[Bill]

"What a rip-off. It sounds like Pictionary."

[Winkdale]

"It is Pictionary." [He peels off the Transformation Charades label to reveal a Pictionary box.]

[Bill -- beginning to become upset]

"I look like a freak, my wife's a demon. How do we get back to normal?"

[Winkdale]

"Look on the bright side. You're still one of each sex, mostly. The magic will wear off in a week or so. Until then you'll be celebrities."

[Cue Winkdale. Return from commercial]

"Welcome back! It's time for our bonus round. Andy and Sue will alternate giving clues. If they can get five right in 90 seconds, they win the bonus prize. Who's giving the first clues?"

[Andy]

"I am." [Picks up the amulet and immediately transforms into a satyr and strikes a John Travolta dance pose]

[Sue]

"You're a satyr, dancing. Saturday Night Fever!"

[14 seconds used up. Sue picks up amulet and immediately transforms into a giant goose with large breasts.]

[Andy]

"That's sure the mother of all geese. Mother Goose!"

[Winkdale]

"You've gotten two out of five and only used up 20 seconds. Andy?"

[Andy looks at phrase and frowns. Slowly picks up the amulet and turns into a Knight in shining armor.]

[Sue]

"You're a knight in shining armor." [As she says "knight", he points to his nose, and begins to transform into a large woman wearing a horned helmet and carrying a spear.] "You're turning into a viking, no a lady viking, Brunhilde? Are you a specific person or a generic one?" [Andy points to nose on "generic"] "A valkyrie? An opera singer?" [Points at nose]. "Knight, opera? A night at the opera!"

[58 seconds used up. Sue picks up amulet and turns into a headless chicken and starts running around]

[Andy laughs out loud.]

"Running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

[Winkdale]

"Correct. You now have 23 seconds left for your final phrase. If you can beat that time you win the bonus prize."

[Andy picks up the amulet and turns into a monkey. He points at his eyes]

[Sue]

"You're a monkey, eyes. See no evil?" [Andy shakes head, starts to make a hammering motion and points back to eyes] "Monkey see, monkey do!!!!! We win! WE WIN!"

[Winkdale]"

"That's right Sue, you win! With 8 seconds left to spare. Congratulations. Johnny, tell them what they've won.

[Announcer]

"You've won an all expense paid Aegean cruise on Odyssey Cruise Lines. Visit all the historic sites, including a stay at Circe's island. Odyssey Cruise Lines, where the adventure is not in the destination, but in the voyage."

[Winkdale]

"Join us again tomorrow for another exciting game of TRANSFORMATION CHARADES. Good-bye everybody!"

[Fade to black]

"Transmutational Transcontinental"

Transformation Contest 2, Category 3

"Backlash"