A Brief History of Transmogrifying Dictators

You shudder at the thought of Rasputin and all his evil doings and suddenly notice you're developing a toothache. Looking back at Goebbels, you realise you're resisting a very large temptation to bite him in the face! Perplexed by the now-serious throbbing in your affected tooth, you reach into your mouth ... only to discover that the wolf's head you pulled off, before awaking in the company of the former brownshirted German propaganda minister, has actually manifested itself as your own head! You have become lycanthropic!

Worriedly, you feel the contours of your face with your hand (which hasn't changed), and you can feel your wet snout and elongated face, the sharp teeth in your new, powerful jaws ... you have a real Wolf's head ... and you start to snarl ...

Goebbels, looking flustered, starts to back away, his club foot bashing awkwardly along the ground. "This is most irregular, you are not supposed to do this", he starts to stammer, while Napoleon, temporarily distracted from his carving by the snarls that you realise you're emitting, shouts out, "Ze wolf! Ze wolf, he is the big bad kind, mon ami, we will be his petit dejeuner, non?"

Confused by the sudden change in your head, you realise you have to get out of here! You make for the rounded entrance of the cavern that you're in, stopping only to lick Goebbel's nose with your long pink tongue and dribble on Napoleon's triangular hat.

Passing thru the entrance, you emerge into a similar cavern. This one is much brighter, with Neon signs bedecking the walls: Levi's, Bud ... it's like a 5 and Dime in there! There's a counter, too, with a cash register on it, and standing behind the counter is Mahatma Ghandi, with a clean t-towel on. He grins at you and says, "Hello, there, Mr Wolf, what's happening today?"

This is too strange! You try to answer the peace-loving Indian pacifist, but can only snarl! You realise you can no longer talk, and in desperation you start howling ...

Written by Guernica (edited by wanderer)

Heaven and Hell

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