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Once burnt, twice ... *really* burnt?

"...sure, okay," you say, starting back down to the landing. "If ... *gasp* ... you could ... just ... *wheeze* ... prop the door..."

Several minutes later, you're following Mary into a large, clean, and heavily over-air-conditioned laboratory ("Are you sure this isn't the walk-in fridge?" you joke), with tables of equipment circling the walls, the doors to a freight elevator on one wall, and a gigantic treadmil in the center of the room. Soon enough, Mary has you standing on the treadmill as she carefully tapes various sensor patches to your arms, legs, chest, and skull. Finally, she taps out a series of commands on a laptop, and looks up.

"Okay, I'm going to read out a couple contracts for you. Say 'yes' if you agree, and 'no' if you disagree. You'll need to sign these if you want to try the treatment, however."

"Sign? By saying 'yes' or 'no'?"

"It's a legal equivalent - the computer records your brainwaves, and the particular patterns corresponding to assent and refusal act as the signature. It's standard."

Standard where? you wonder, but nod anyway. (Or half-nod - your head doesn't bend down too much right now.) The contracts prove fairly standard - one is a nondisclosure agreement, another indemnification, and the third right to record and use medical data. Finally, Mary walks up and carefully injects a measured amount of formula into your arm.

"There!" she says, taping a sterile gauze pad to the injection point. "The formula should start acting shortly. In the meantime, I want you to start walking forwards on the treadmill as fast as you can."

"I'll try, but don't get your hopes up," you say, as she goes to open a cabinet in the corner. "I'm not exactly in shape right now," you mutter as you start shuffling along.

Mary turns around. "You may be surprised," she says. Then you see what she's holding - a large fire extinguisher.

What on earth...? you have just enough time to think, when suddenly the formula kicks in.


Written by Robin Z

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